Monster Byte: Castaway sues Innsmouth Cruise Line

By Bryan Thao Worra

Innsmouth, MA – A local Innsmouth cruise line is in hot water thanks to a cantankerous castaway. Thirty-two-year-old fisherman Stanley MacKenzie says he and seven others had been stranded for thirteen days because the motor on their fishing boat broke and their radio equipment had became inoperative. On March 23, they caught a glimpse of a cruise liner passing by and called for help, signalling with everything they could, but the ship, owned by Euryale Cruises, …

Bryan Thao WorraMonster Byte: Castaway sues Innsmouth Cruise Line

Monster Byte: Dunwich Fading Brings Forgotten History to Life

By Tyler Holman

Arkham, MA – “It’s a great relief.” That’s how oral historian Professor Terrence Wood feels about being finished with the monumental work that has consumed the last thirty years of his life. As you read this, copies of Dunwich Fading are rolling off the presses of the Miskatonic Valley Historical Society, for release later this summer.

The book is the result of countless interviews with Dunwich residents conducted by Professor Wood, and his students and colleagues. Says …

IFPMonster Byte: Dunwich Fading Brings Forgotten History to Life

Monster Byte: The Clock is Broken Wraps Up and Heads West

By Maria Mitchell

Innsmouth, MA – After a successful summer run, The Clock is Broken finishes up its season with the Innsmouth Philoneiros Ensemble and prepares to follow Neville Tillinghast to California. Tillinghast has made arrangements to book the play at a lovely old theatre in the desert town of Pierce. Pierce, known for its unusual artistic community, is eagerly awaiting Clock‘s western debut.

Garden of Azathoth and Tasty Encounters are both happy with the success of the play. …

Maria MitchellMonster Byte: The Clock is Broken Wraps Up and Heads West

Monster Byte: The Clock is Broken Debuts. Startling Guest Appears at Cast Party

By Maria Mitchell

Innsmouth, MA – The Clock is Broken made its debut tonight to a wide reception. While the storyline is odd, the equally strange music composed by Ian Hastings, Neville Tillinghast and Errol Crump succeeded in offering Innsmouth something musically unusual. Some of the numbers are spoken rhythmically, giving the piece a staccato-like humour that brings to mind Gary Cheese, a comedian based out of Ipswich who records comedic bits set to music.

Gyrating lobster-slime molds in spandex …

Maria MitchellMonster Byte: The Clock is Broken Debuts. Startling Guest Appears at Cast Party

Monster Byte: This Month In Innsmouth (July 2012)

By Amanda J. Spedding

July Blood Drive

It’s time to open up a vein, folks! Innsmouth’s Blood Bank is dangerously low, and a call has gone out to residents for help. Blood Drive organiser, Sister Mary Margaret of the Sacred Order of Hastur, said, “We have our regular donors, but, sadly, with the amount of tragedy lately, the blood bank has been unable to keep up with the demand for transfusions.

“We’re asking for the townsfolk to come together for …

AmandaMonster Byte: This Month In Innsmouth (July 2012)

Monster Byte: This Month In Innsmouth (June 2012)

By Amanda J. Spedding

Paine Street Cinema – Month of Horror

Paine Street Cinema is holding its annual Month of Horror and cinema manager Denise Fuller told Innsmouth Free Press there’ll be “something for everyone. This year, our focus is on the ‘monster’. Each week, we’ll be showcasing one particular nasty and all those who dress as our weekly star will get free popcorn.”

Mrs. Fuller has also confirmed that Paine Street Cinema will be holding a fundraising drive for …

AmandaMonster Byte: This Month In Innsmouth (June 2012)

Monster Byte: The Black Widow of Theo Zann

By Maria Mitchell

Innsmouth, MA – Composer Theo Zann died unexpectedly of respiratory failure in a small town outside of Bavaria this morning and has left an odd inheritance to the Innsmouth Philoneiros Ensemble for use in the new musical, The Clock is Broken. A letter from Zann was sent along with the items and has been reprinted here in Innsmouth Free Press in its entirety:

I am glad to hear my harsh snubbing of Errol Crump back in

Maria MitchellMonster Byte: The Black Widow of Theo Zann

Monster Byte: Tcho-Tcho Storyteller Changing Lives Like “Jackie Chan-meets-Tupac”

By Bryan Thao Worra

The best storyteller Xou Monyu ever heard was his father. As a professional Tcho-Tcho storyteller today, Xou Monyu learned many of his best lessons from him.

When Tcho-Tcho children required discipline in Laos, Xou Monyu’s father never yelled or threatened. He would instead say, “It’s time for a story. Once, there was a Tcho-Tcho who had a problem like you….” The children would then contemplate Monyu’s father’s words and
find the right solution from there.

After …

Bryan Thao WorraMonster Byte: Tcho-Tcho Storyteller Changing Lives Like “Jackie Chan-meets-Tupac”

Monster Byte: Tcho-Tcho Mother Claims Ghosts Killed Family

By Bryan Thao Worra

Innsmouth, MA – Innsmouth police issued a statement that a mother accused of violently killing her two young sons and mother-in-law is claiming “ghosts” committed the triple homicide.

Najinya Laphitam was hospitalised on Friday for treatment of self-inflicted injuries following her efforts to take her own life with the same weapon she is alleged to have used in killing her

children, three-year-old Donja and six-year-old Nouvak, and her mother-in-law, Moannva Laphitam. She allegedly slashed each victim …

Bryan Thao WorraMonster Byte: Tcho-Tcho Mother Claims Ghosts Killed Family

Monster Byte: Marine Biologists Set To Reveal New England’s Oceanic Past

By Lynne Jamneck

Innsmouth, MA – Marine biologists from Harvard University have been causing a stir around the greater New England countryside as they continue to investigate the waters of the Kingsport and Innsmouth harbours.

The investigations follow on the back of groundbreaking anthropological studies collected from universities around the world, published in Smithsonian Magazine as “The Russ Report”.

After what they have described as “startling findings along the Kingsport coast”, the team of marine biologists have settled in Innsmouth, …

IFPMonster Byte: Marine Biologists Set To Reveal New England’s Oceanic Past

Monster Byte: This Month in Innsmouth (May 2012)

By Amanda J. Spedding

May is ‘Adopt and Foster a Pet Month’ at the Innsmouth Humane Society

Following the arson attack on the Innsmouth Humane Society last week, a call has gone out to Innsmouth residents for help.

Innsmouth Humane Society spokesman Callum O’Connor said, “We desperately need Innsmouth’s help. We have a number of animals in need of homes, both temporary and permanent.” Mr. O’Connor confirmed that some of the animals required special care: “Yes, some of our dogs …

AmandaMonster Byte: This Month in Innsmouth (May 2012)

Monster Byte: The Second Great Raid: 100 Days Later

By Andrew G. Dombalagian

Innsmouth, MA – As the last members of the Massachusetts National Guard withdraw from Innsmouth, the town continues to assess the damage done and ponder the legacy of “The Second Great Raid”. Despite hardships, residents remain strong. Fundraisers and reconstruction efforts across town prove Innsmouth’s undying spirit.

The Innsmouth Public Library has made the difficult decision to auction off several antiquities and pieces of jewelry in its collection to pay for necessary repairs. The library’s significant …

IFPMonster Byte: The Second Great Raid: 100 Days Later