Column: Cthulhu Eats the World: The Exquisite Eldritch Art of “Cryptocurium”


By Brian M. Sammons


If you are a serious Cthulhu Cultist, then you’re going to want Mythos knickknacks aplenty. Many artists and craftsmen know this, so there are countless places on the Internet offering Lovecraftian goodies in all shapes and forms, not to mention prices. With all that, it’s hard to know which artists to trust with your hard-earned cash. Well, fear not, friends. I am here to help you. As a serious Cthulhu cultist myself, I have amassed a nice collection of idols, amulets and strange objets d’art devoted to the horrors of the Cthulhu Mythos. In doing so, I have dealt with great artisans and shoddy ones, fair merchants and downright crooks. So, I’m going to shine a spotlight on some of the best in the biz of venerating Cthulhu and all of the Great Old Ones. Without further Iä Iäs, let’s get to it.

Cryptocurium.com is the online lair of Jason McKittrick, an artist who handcrafts various Cthulhu memorabilia, not to mention other goodies based on other horror movies and books. Case in point: Cryptocurium made a big splash a little while back with a series of magnets based on the Alien movies. Following the huge success of those, McKittrick now has a slew of magnets to creep out, and class up, your refrigerator. From Jason and Freddy, to the Predator, to the return of the Xenomorph Life Cycle series that was once sold out, to, yes, even Great Cthulhu, these magnets can now adorn the appliance of your choice.

Speaking of Cthulhu, what first brought me to Cryptocurium.com was Jason’s love for all things Lovecraft – specifically, an idol for the big green end-of-the-world machine, Cthulhu. Now there are tons of Cthulhu idols out there. Some are good, others crap. Put Mr. McKittrick’s take on Cthulhu firmly in the Great category. Measuring 7.5” x 2.75” x 2.75 and hand cast in solid resin, these individually signed and numbered beauties are not only amazing to look at, but they’re solid little beasts. By that, I mean there’s weight to them and heft. These are not flimsily little things that are going to fall apart on you. Whether you want to buy your first Cthulhu idol to worship, or your one-hundred-and-first to add to your collection, you’re going to want to have this icon for your very own.

Idols not your thing? Well, Cryptocurium does just about a little bit of everything in the way of creepy collectibles. They have prop collections suitable for framing and/or use in your next Call of Cthulhu game. Are you a fan of amulets? They’ve got you covered there, too. Totems, relics, and artifacts of all shapes and sizes can be found here. One neat thing that Jason McKittrick does is the Parcel of Terror. What’s that, you ask? Well, have you heard about Loot Crate, Nerd Block, or any of the other monthly box o’ stuff subscriptions? Now, Cryptocurium has their own monthly mail-ordered goodie box. If you like weird art and love surprises, the Parcel of Terror will give you plenty of both.


Final Verdict: This is as Cthulhu as it gets and then some. If any of what I’ve briefly touched on here sounds good to you, you can check out all the coolness yourself at: http://www.cryptocurium.com.


Brian M. Sammons

About Brian M. Sammons

Brian M. Sammons has been critiquing all things horror, science fiction, dark, or just plain icky for over a decade. His reviews and columns can currently be found in the pages of these magazines: Cemetery Dance, Shock Totem and Dark Discoveries, and on these websites: Horror World, The Black Glove and now here. Not being satisfied at being a humble and handsome critic, Brian has penned a few tales himself. They have appeared in the magazines Bare Bone, Cthulhu Sex, Dark Animus, and Horror Carousel, and in the anthologies Arkham Tales, Cthulhu Unbound Vol. 2, Horrors Beyond, and Twisted Legends, among others. He has also written extensively for the Call of Cthulhu role playing game, in an attempt to corrupt as many new, young minds as possible. Despite all this, Brian is often described by his neighbours as "such a nice, quiet man", and he loves animals.

Brian M. SammonsColumn: Cthulhu Eats the World: The Exquisite Eldritch Art of “Cryptocurium”