Column: Retronomicon: Dead In The Water: Grimm 3.04: One Night Stand


By J. Keith Haney


“More and more she grew to love human beings and wished that she could leave the sea and live among them.” – Hans Christian Anderson, “The Little Mermaid”


Recap: The quote above is put against the backdrop of yet more of Portland’s lovely forest area, starting from a tree and panning all the way down to a fallen log by the water. We then fade out and abruptly cut to a bunch of young people singing …

JHaneyColumn: Retronomicon: Dead In The Water: Grimm 3.04: One Night Stand

Column: Retronomicon: The Price of Loyalty: Dracula 1.04: From Darkness To Light


By J. Keith Haney


Recap: We start off with a recap that encompasses Daniel’s suicide, Grayson’s demonstration, the reincarnation angle with Mina and Grayson, Grayson’s continuing frustration with the lack of a solar vaccine, Mina proposing to Jonathan, Lucy’s torch that she’s carrying for Mina, Lady Jane’s nasty vampire-hunting habits, and the death of the Seers. Whew! That’s more action than some series get on thirty episodes, let alone three.

With that out of the way, we open on the …

JHaneyColumn: Retronomicon: The Price of Loyalty: Dracula 1.04: From Darkness To Light

Column: Retronomicon: Review: Burnt Tongues


Palahniuk, Chuck; Thomas, Richard; Widmyer, Dennis, eds. Burnt Tongues. Medallion Press. USD $12.29; ISBN 978-1-60542-734-8.

By J. Keith Haney


At the start of Harlan Ellison’s collection Deathbird Stories, there is a Latin motto: Caveat Lector or “Reader Beware.” It was a sincere warning of the upsetting nature of the stories that were contained within the covers of that volume. Such a motto should be affixed to the front of Burnt Tongues but for vastly different reasons. The short …

JHaneyColumn: Retronomicon: Review: Burnt Tongues

Column: Retronomicon: Bad Taste: Grimm 3.03: A Dish Best Served Cold

By J. Keith Haney


spoilers ahead


‘Tis Death’s Park, where he breeds life to feed him. Cries of pain are music for his banquet.


Recap: Every god of war with a bad rep could get behind the little ditty above. Anyway, before we get to that part, we start off with the usual recap of previous events. This highlight reel includes the deceased Frau Pech’s offer to Renard’s inside man for Adalind’s kid; Nick’s unfortunate rampage at the bar; him …

JHaneyColumn: Retronomicon: Bad Taste: Grimm 3.03: A Dish Best Served Cold

Column: Retronomicon: Lonely Hearts: Dracula 1.03: Goblin Merchant Men


Recap: We start off with a quick recap of the previous episode. Thankfully, we only get the relevant details, such as Jonathan’s offer, the introduction of the Seers, Lord Laurent’s being made a party of blackmail, Lady Jane’s determination to track down the vampire in London, and Grayson’s reluctance to do more than what he’s doing with Mina.

We then open onto the episode proper with a view of a magnificent dogwood tree in a courtyard, being watered by the …

JHaneyColumn: Retronomicon: Lonely Hearts: Dracula 1.03: Goblin Merchant Men

Column: Retronomicon: The Harker Legacy

Glenn, Teel James. The Harker Legacy. Anachron Press, 2012. USD $6.99. ISBN 13-978-1481171816.

This story takes place in one of those parallel worlds where a bullet was not fired in Texas in 1937 and so the world was changed….

That bullet was actually fired in 1936, June 11th to be precise. The bullet was from a .380 Colt Automatic. It didn’t belong to the shooter. He’d borrowed it from a friend, who would go on to regret the loan.…
JHaneyColumn: Retronomicon: The Harker Legacy