By Paula R. Stiles

ABC’s Eastwick, which is currently running out its last few episodes, is not the first sequel or remake of the original book, The Witches of Eastwick, since the film version. There have been two pilots, a British musical and two porn versions (no lie). One intriguing fact: ABC’s is the first version to be developed by a woman (Maggie Friedman):

The Widows of Eastwick (2008): John Updike tried his hand at this ill-advised sequel shortly before his death. The Witches from the first novel have left Eastwick to go their separate ways and marry three separate men. Life’s been pretty good to them, but now they’re all widowed and lonely and worried that they’re getting old. Their black magic has long since deserted them. They decide a trip back to Eastwick for the summer is just the ticket, even though Eastwick has been converted into a tourist trap. Once there, they run afoul of an old enemy (what, only one?) and try to make amends for their past misdeeds. It’s like The Golden Girls meets The Craft. Updike probably should have left this one in the typewriter.

The Witches of Eastwick (1992): This half-hour pilot was produced in 1989 but never sold. It was eventually aired in 1992. Produced by Boam/Cuse Production and written by Jeffrey Boam and Michael Christofer, it starred Julia Campbell, Ally Walker and Catherine Mary Stewart as the three witches, with Michael Siberry as Darryl Van Horne. Does the name “Michael Christofer” sound familiar? It should. He wrote the teleplay for the 2009 pilot.

It sounds as though the entire cast was a lot younger than those in the book or film. Unsurprisingly, the IMDB synopsis and comments from those who have seen it indicate that it was closer to Bewitched than Updike. The women conjure a rainstorm after a male coach makes sexist remarks at a local baseball game. They are all single and childless and living together in a big house, and there’s a weird subplot where one of them gets chased around by Robert Picardo (Star Trek: Voyager), playing a local school headmaster. Initially, they are freaked out by Van Horne’s mysterious and sudden appearance, but eventually decide to keep him. Very Three’s Company.

Eastwick (2002): This was a pilot by FOX that was never picked up. It’s apparently a sequel to the film where the action occurs fifteen years later and involves conflicts between the Witches’ sons (yeah, since that’s never been done before [yawn]). It was written by John Cowan and Robert L. Rovner, and starred Marcia Cross (now on Desperate Housewives), Kelly Rutherford and Lori Loughlin. No Van Horne, apparently (boo!). From the sound of things, the ABC version may have taken some of the “next generation” aspect of this one’s plot and wisely changed the sons to daughters, leaving only Jamie from this one’s male trio, and also bringing back Van Horne. This version was an hour long and apparently much darker than the 1992 version.

The Witches of Breastwick (2005): This soft-core porn and its sequel (imaginatively titled The Witches of Breastwick 2) came out the same year and inexplicably went straight to video. Shocking. Positively shocking. Anyhoo, the first one (which clocks in at 78 minutes) has an inane plot where a married couple are “sucked into” a supernatural sexual free-for-all with the three busty witches of the title. And…well…that’s it. The second one doesn’t even bother to list a plot on its IMDB page, but you can catch it on TMC on December 15 at 3:30 am, in case you’re curious. Written by Jim Wynorski and starring no one you’ve ever heard of.

The Witches of Eastwick: The Musical (2000): This West-End musical has had a run nearly ever year, somewhere, since it first came out. It had a revival in the UK in 2008, as well as a limited U.S. run in 2007. Though adapted by John Dempsey from the book, it seems to have borrowed some elements from the film, too. The UK production has a website with listings of recent and future showings. There’s also a CD available on Amazon of the original 2000 production.

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