by Michael D. Griffiths

Austen, Jane and Grahame-Smith, Seth. Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. Philadelphia: Quirk Productions, Inc., 2009. 320 pp. $12.95. ISBN# 978-1594743344.

Strangely, the only bestselling book I will probably end up reading this year is also one of the books I’ve enjoyed the least. Pride Prejudice and Zombies, while written mostly by the literary English novelist Jane Austen (1775-1817), also has bits of bloody splatter tossed in by contemporary author Seth Grahame-Smith.

In the great tradition of taking perfectly good movies and remaking them with annoying tweenie actors, we can now have this feat performed with literature as well. Jane Austen’s work is a classic infused with dry humour and, despite the addition of zombies, remains mostly untouched. This idea of using a new technique to piggyback on someone else’s genius strikes me as cute, perhaps inspired, but in the end, it is a hollow victory for Mr. Grahame-Smith.

As I have mentioned, the story is predominately Austen’s and focuses on the five Bennet sisters that are approaching a marriageable age. Elizabeth, the second eldest, is a woman of high standards and sharp wit and, in the case of this version, a sharp dagger to boot. Men fall in and out of her favour, faster than the changing seasons, but none more so than Mr. Darcy. He is warrior such as herself; their hot and cold relationship is the main theme of this comic Regency romance.

Personally, I found the joke quickly growing old. “Oh yes, the young women are all fine zombie-fighters trained in China, but where is the tea? Oh, my, dear, the servants have been eaten again? Who shall do our linens?”

Another issue, that I think will disturb hardcore zombie buffs, is the fact that there really aren’t that many zombies walking around the English countryside to begin with. The fight scenes tend to be neglected in favour of resting on the strength of Ms. Austin’s fine writing. Zombies are more of an afterthought, although Grahame-Smith does manage to interweave them with the plot in several inventive ways.

A hundred pages into the book, Grahame-Smith makes a serious fumble that no doubt has Max Brooks and Eric Brown scratching their heads. Now mind you, throughout the book, Grahame-Smith is using the “traditional” Romero zombie archetype to attack the ladies. In one of the few-and-far-between fights in the book, Elizabeth is bravely battling an army of 200 bloodthirsty zombies by herself. I quote, “Her feet, fists, and blade were too swift for the clumsy horde, and they began to retreat.”

Romero zombies never retreat! This is one of the things that makes them so terrifying. As Max Brooks points out in World War Z (2006), zombies have no emotions, nothing the soldier can use against them. They never tire; they never retreat. This scene spoiled it for me by compromising the zombies and perhaps showing a bit of failed research on the author’s part

On a more optimistic note, I do foresee a possible use for this book and others of its ilk. In today’s soundbyte, ADD culture, books like these could be used to help children wade through the classics while they anxiously await a chance to get back to their video games. The tease of a little zombie action here and there might just be enough to keep their interest on the stories set with a slower pace than the summer blockbuster they are used to.

This could work and perhaps I shouldn’t knock Grahame-Smith; maybe he is on to something here. Soon, instead of crib notes, we could all be reading zombified notes. Good for you, Grahame-Smith. You will be getting in on the ground floor and then your book will become a classic.

You can purchase Pride, Prejudice and Zombies through Amazon.com

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